Jojo's Bizarre Adventure: The Blossom Chronicles
by jojoinwhoville
Summary: Hi, I'm Jojo of the McDodd family. A man came to my house and told me I'm one of the illegitimate kids his grampa had I and I'm just like "whatever" but then some weird stuff started happening and now I'm on the ride of my life (in more ways than one ;3). Anyways, this my story, the epic tale of my obscure escapades. This, is Jojo's Bizarre Adventure.
1. Size Doesn't Matter In Whoville

They wheeled in the gadget, bursting through the double doors with urgency. Jotaro shudders, it was far too cold in here for his taste.

"Are you ready for this sir?" A man in a lab-coat grasps the shrink ray, powering it on as Jotaro places a foot in a container on the floor, so they could contain him before transporting him to Whoville.

"Ready as I'll ever be. I just can't believe the old man actually jerked off on a fucking flower..." Jotaro rolls his neck, readying himself for the blast. "Good grief... Fire away..." The man in the lab-coat fired the blaster and Jotaro felt a tingling sensation run through his body before he shrunk down, to the size of a child, then the size of an infant, then an apple, an ant, a speck of dust, then gone, too small for the naked eye.

The scientists sigh as they slowly tilt the container over the speck hoping Jotaro would tumble out and down. "What happens if we miss?" One asks as they perform the procedure. "Then... The world is doomed..." The lead scientist, the one who fired the gadget, responds as the finish. "It's all in the hands of the Joestars now..."

I sat idly around, flipping through the channels. There was no point, it was all boring, monotonous, and overall lame, just like life is. _Ding Dong!_ I wait, somebody else can answer that shit around here. _Ding Dong!_ Again? "Will somebody get the fuckin' door!?" I shout, flipping through the channels in a somewhat angry manner.

 _Ding Dong! Ding Dong! Ding Dong! Ding Dong! DING DONG!_ "For fucks sake! 102 of us and nobody can get the door!?" I snarl and hop to my feet and head over to the door, swinGing it open in a huff. "I don't want your fucking Who-scout Cookies!" I attempt to slam it shut but a hand stops me.

"Good grief, they don't have manners in Whoville now do they?" I turn towards whoever slammed the door shut. He snarls at me and yanks the door open taking a step inside. "Since you guys clearly don't have manners around here I hope you won't mind if I invite myself in."

"Yeah, and what exactly are you? No, really you don't look like a who so you must be a what," I tilt my head, puzzled by the six who-foot* creature standing in my entry-hall.

(*Because Whoville doesn't know of outside measuring systems, they've created their own, it just so happens to be exactly the same as the US standard system.)

"Jotaro, Jotaro Kuujo. Your nephew," The hulking beast took another step in, removing his shoes and tossing them aside. This guy was my nephew? Dude is almost twice my size, literally! "I think we have a lot to talk about. Where can we sit and talk?" I lead him to the room I was in just moments ago and shut off the TV.

"So, Jotaro... I have quite a few questions and I damn-well expect answers. Preferably without an exposition." I look the man over again, he wore a white leather jacket and a white captain's-style hat that seemed to meld into his jet-black hair.

"Sorry kid, they come in pairs. You want one, you get the other, now keep your trap shut so I can explain everything," Jotaro takes in a deep breath and begins his explanation. "My grandpa and your Dad, Joseph Joestar, has a few bizarre kinks, one of those happens to be jerking off onto flowers. Something about shooting sperm onto plant sperm turns him on I guess. But anyways, he decided one day to climb Mt. Nool and jerk off onto the clover there-"

"So that's what the white flood I heard so much about was. This Joseph guy literally came on our world!" Jotaro scowls as I interrupt him before continuing on with his story.

"Yes, and as it so happens your mom was the only Who to be impregnated by the stuff. Which means you're a Joestar, and as such, you have something called a Stand, a physical manifestation of your fighting spirit." This guy is crazy, why the hell should I believe anything he says? Other than the fact that I'm super gullible and the idea of having powers is extremely appealing.

"A Joestar... So I'm Jojo Joestar? Jojojo? That's fucking stupid..." I trail off, picking up the remote and turning on the TV.

"Good grief..." Is all that leaves Jotaro's mouth before an even bigger creature leaves his body destroying my TV with a series of punches. It was around eight who-feet and had long spiky hair that shimmered in the light of the living room.

"Hey what the hell man! I was watching Friends!" I groan, eyeing the weird monster thing with a bit of contempt. "What the hell is that thing exactly?"

"I already told you, it's called a Stand," The hulking six who-foot man rolled his eyes and cracked his knuckles. "And you have one too."

"I do? How come I haven't known about this?" I inquire. If I've had this stand thing my whole life then why haven't I been able to use it.

"Well it could be because you're a huge dumb-ass," Jotaro remarks passively as he reaches for my soda. _My_ soda. My arm snaps out and I grip my nephew's hand.

"Hands off."

"What're you going to do about it?" He sneers and snatches my can anyway and takes a big long gulp of my pop. _My_ pop. Touching my food is one thing, but taking it... That's unforgivable! I growl and in front of me a massive wire-frame elephant materialized. Its my stand, how I figured that out I have no clue. What I did know was that I was going to use it to kill the bastard who took my shit. "How about I squash you into a Jotaro Pancake?"

"There's your Stand," Jotaro chuckles silently and tosses me back my can of soda. It's just as I left it, nearly full. It's as if he hasn't even taken a sip, let alone that massive gulp. "You're welcome."

"Tch, dickhead," I scoff and gulp down my Mountain Dew, nectar of the gods. Only a true gamer drinks Mountain Dew, and they drink it with Doritos."What's it called?"

"Up to you," The man said as he stood up. "I'd best be going, I was only stopping by to tell you about your real dad and stand. Do your parents a favor and don't tell them what I told you. It might fuck up their relationship, and your relationship with them. Also be on the lookout for anything suspicious. Stand users tend to attract Stand users, and not all of them are nice."

I nod and Jotaro heads toward the door. "Great Phant," Jotaro turns towards me, with a _hm?_ "That's what I'm calling my Stand, it's Great Phant." The behemoth of a man nods and exits my house, presumably to leave the speck. however that's possible. Either way, our TV is busted and we need a new one or I'm getting my ass kicked.


	2. Friday at the Store

I yawn and snatch my jacket and Dad's credit card as I head out the door. The gentle breeze blows through my whispy hair, somewhat obstructing my field of vision. I let it, since its super bright out and I can see well enough. I never really liked the normal district, I alway prefered the night district, the side of the speck that faced the dark cave wall. Its not like I have anything personal against the daytime, its just so damn bright…

I arrive at the department store and step through the sliding glass door, where I'm greeted by a smiling employee. "Hello sir would you like to try our new purified water!?" I decline and keep walking until I find the same model and brand as the TV we had at home. Its not too big, only 32", so I'm able to carry it to check-out, not without a bit of effort though.

The clerk rings it up and gives me a look. "You sure you can afford this kid?" Shit, that's right, Dad insited on buying a stupid-ass 4k TV. "Just put it on the card ok?" I offer him Dad's credit card and he shakes his head. "Sorry, kid I'm gonna have to talk to the manager about a purchase like this…" He walks off.

I have half a mind to steal this shit but I decide against it, they'd eat a kid like me for breakfast in juvi. Though I doubt any of the other kids there would have a stand. "Hello sir!" I turn towards the source of the voice, the manager. "I see you're ready to buy your things."  
He's decent looking, brown hair, blue eyes. He looks like a regular person, no specifically distinguishable features. He looks like the first thing you think of when you think of a who. His nametag says Karl. "Yeah, I just needed to pick up this TV," I smile politely, getting slightly annoyed with this guy's attitude. "The one at home broke." I clarify.

"Ah yes, well, its just, you've chosen a rather expensive TV," He smiles and offers me a water bottle. I take it and crack it open, I was feeling a bit thirsty now. Upon drinking it I felt instantly better, though a bit weird. "You'll have to pay all that money."

"Yeah, I know, that's how stores work right?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Yes well, we have to make sure of these things," He smiles and I swear I'm going to punch his smug-ass face. "To avoid identity theft."

"Yeah, well I'm not doing that," I totally am. "So can you just ring me up _Karl_?"

He reluctantly obliges. "Your total is $454.39." He smiles again and I grumble, punching the pin into the keypad. I get an error and try again. And again. Am I missing the mark? I look to my hand and sure enough it shaking, though not badly enough for it to affect my keypad skills.

"Sir, are you having a hard time with the machine?" Did I forget the pin? No, that can't be. Unless, maybe I did. "Did you forget the pin?" I try several other combinations but I mess those up too. "Could it be that this isn't even your card?"

Now I feel my blood boiling. What is with this fucking manager, can't he keep his trap shut for 5 minutes? "Shut the fuck up!" My words come out slightly slurred and I feel like I'm in a daze. I shake it off, rubbing my head.

"Sir, I don't want to cause a scene." No, fuck that, fuck this guy, fuck this store.

"Dude, shut the hell up, I'm gonna kick your ass if you don't shut up for like 5 seconds!" I stumble over myself and nearly knock into a chair.

"Sir you sound intoxicated. I know you're a minor, but could it be you're drunk?" Drunk? Like hell I am, all I drank was that stupid water. "Of course I'm not fuckin' drunk. Watch, I'll take a breathalyzer test right now." I growl and for whatever reason, Karl has one. He crams it into my mouth without warning and starts it up.

"0.849% BAC. Sir, I'm afraid we don't serve intoxicated whos," I feel my blood boiling as the manager points to the door. "I'm going to have to ask you to exit the premises."

"Screw this shit!" I summon Great Phant who aims a punch at the manager but it stops before it hits his face.

"A stand user? Interesting…" Karl cracks his neck. "Your movements are slow from the alcohol in your system, not to mention the fact that your stand doesn't look very fast to begin with. It looks like it'll be easy to take you out with my Friday!"

His stand appears, a humanoid creature with no face and red and white stripes going diagonally across it's body. The letters T.G.I.F. appear in random spots in big black letters. Though it didn't have a face, his stand wore a pair of sunglasses and atop it's haid, a black crown. "6 minutes, that's all you have until Friday's ability puts you in a coma and eventually kills you, just as I was instructed to do."

6 minutes? Ability? I didn't even know stands had abilities. Damn Jotaro, not telling me everything. I wonder what ability Friday might have, or even Great Phant. I bet its really cool, maybe it can- No! Focus Jojo! "You done yet? You have 5 minutes and a half until your alcohol levels get so high you pass out."

Shit! I gotta end things quick, but what can I do? I don't even know my ability yet… Time to punch aimlessly until something happens. "Damn you bastard!" I shout as Great Phant throws a ballista of drunken punches, none of them hitting. That's when I get the bright idea having Phant knee him in the stomach. A direct hit!

Karl coughs up blood, staining his fur and uniform. "That was the first and last hit you'll get." he mutters, Friday unleashes a barrage of punches and kicks, so fast I can hardly see them. Despite my efforts they all land on Phant and though it took the hit, all the damage went straight to me! I fly backward into a shelf of bread. My back cracks which feels great but I also hit my head, I reach my hand back o check for damage only to feel a warm, sticky substance. My blood.

"Now would be a great time to learn your ability Jojo…" I mutter to myself. Hold on… What was it I said to Jotaro when he touched? Something about pancakes? I can't remember. Friday and Karl rushe toward me, unleashing a barrage of attacks and at this point I can barely stand, let alone dodge. "4 minutes Jojo!" I dispel Phant while I recollect my thoughts but its too late, Friday unleashes an onslaught of attacks and I barely get away.

I can hardly stand, let alone think. "FLATTEN! That's what I said!" Why would I threaten to flatten him? Could it be that I subconsciously knew my stand's ability? But what can I flatten? I highly doubt a stand is so powerful it can flatten humans, maybe I can flatten small things or inanimate objects. "Great Phant!" My stand materializes and I get a brilliant idea, one so amazing, of course I'd only be able to get it while drunk. Phant clumsily swings at Karl's shoulder and he doesn't even bother to dodge.

"You're too weak to even hurt me, why fucking bother-" The shirt of his uniform begins to flatten, crushing his torso. "What the hell! What- what're you-" he wheezes taking in as much air as possible. "What're you doing?"

"Great Phant's ability! I can flatten inanimate objects smaller than 6 who-feet!" I grin drunkly and I see Karl's shirt tighten, he can't breathe now. "Phant! Go… go and get 'im!" I grin and launch an assault with Great Phant, releasing a barage of drunken punches. "KILIKILIKILIKILIKILI!"

His body thrashes wildly and blood spurts everywhere. Its only when his stand's ability wears off that I realize what I've just done. I just fucking killed a man, with a crowd of people nearby. I'm screwed, hell my whole family is. If word gets out I killed a person everyone in my family would be harassed, specifically my dad. He'd never get elected again, not mention my whole family be blacklisted from everything you could possibly be blacklisted from.

"What the hell just happened?" One of the customers asks me timidly. "You two were shouting and then you went flying, and then he exploded!" Can they not see stands? Jotaro must've neglected to tell me that too, fucking dick. Lets see, I gotta come up with an excuse, think Jojo think.

"It must be something he ate… I really don't know." Was it a half-assed excuse? Yeah, but the real question is did they buy it? The customer nods and shouts what I said to the rest of the store. I nab the TV and head out.

"Son of a bitch ain't good for anything," The man sighs and swipes left on his ?Pad. "Stand users, stand users…" Dryftwud wasn't the best app for finding stand potential stand users but he was looking for an easy lay anyway. He stops on a young boy, maybe 12 or so. "Why the fuck does he- nevermind, he goes to Jojo's school. I just need him to get close to him so I can kill him off, once he's gone I can take care of those government pissants.

(AN: ?pad is pronounced "whoPad". Don't question it, don't like, don't read.)

Who Government

 **The Mayor**

The mayor can decree whatever they want but ultimately the decision is up to the council. The mayor and his family, however, still live like kings and queens they get a portion of all citizen's taxes. If the current Mayor passes, the position is given to the Mayor's son but if the mayor's son is deceased the next in line is the prime minister, then the treasurer, then the supreme judge, and finally if they're all dead the next mayor is chosen by the council from a list of qualified candidates.

 **The Council**

The council has the power to veto any decision in whoville but they do not have the power to directly make decisions.

 **The Prime Minister**

The main source of law proposals.

 **Supreme Judge**

The judge of Whoville's highest court.

 **Treasurer**

The one who manages all Whoville funds.


	3. Kat's Kap

It's been a few days since Jotaro's visit and the incident at the store which means school is starting tomorrow. Normally I wouldn't care but I'm a freshman in highschool now, which means I'll be going to some stupid politician's prep school. Again, not a big deal, that just means less science and math. What ticks me off is the stupid ass uniform!

You know how crazy people have to wear straitjackets? This feels like a straitjacket with matching pants, a belt, gloves, and visor. Every component of the uniform feels like it was meant to restrict movement which, unsurprisingly, makes my ADHD act up more than usual. I sigh and pull out my uniform, setting it to the side for tomorrow. Just then I hear a knock at the door.

"Tch, come in Dad." I mutter and roll my neck as my father walks through the door.

"How'd you know it was me?" He chuckles and takes a seat on my bed.

"None of the girls would knock before coming in," I roll my eyes and plop into my office chair. "Come to talk or are you just going to sit on my bed."

"Don't talk to me like that Jojo." My dad scowls.

"Whatever, just talk." I rolls my eyes and turn towards my computer, going onto the school's website to make my account.

"Well its just that you're getting older," My father pauses, as if searching for words. "And as you get older you may have some… urges."  
"Ugh, dad, don't be fucking gross!" My face twists into one of disgust as I finish setting up my account for the school website.

"All I'm saying is you need to be safe," He looks off to the side, looking extremely uncomfortable. "We McDodd's are very potent men, you don't want to end up with 100 kids like your mother and I."  
"Yeah, maybe that's because you guys just needed an heir, not because you forgot to wear a condom." I contemplate smashing my head into the keyboard to avoid this extremely uncomfortable topic. "If that's all you have to say you can get out now, I'm not some horny teen." The homework folder on my desktop would beg to differ but that's beside the point.

"Right, well…" Dad gets up and dusts himself off. "Promise you'll get lots of rest tonight. Tomorrow's a big day."

"Wasn't planning on staying up anyway," I yawn and shut down the computer. "I signed up for a High Intensity Training (HIT) class so I can be ready for the Whoball team next year." The school only accepted sophomores and above into their Whoball team.

The next day I got my clothes on and headed to school. The sun beat down on me, it's rays making it nearly impossible for me to keep this damn jacket on. I got tired of it and decided that now would be a good time to make use of my stand. Great Phant appeared and tore off my sleeves, turning my school jacket into a neat vest.

I unzipped the thing and immediately felt better. I have no idea why a school would make its colors black and gold, only to have the uniform consist solely of shades of black. I sigh as I walk into the school, looking at my schedule. First up I got homeroom, lets see, looks like I'm in class 1B.

I brush the hair from my face and step inside the classroom which was relatively empty bar a few other students talking amongst themselves. I sit at one of those weird desk-chair thingies and just sit back, waiting for class to start. After about 10 minutes of waiting I get bored and check my watch. Its 8:05 and class doesn't start until 8:30, fuck me sideways. I got 25 minutes to kill and nothing to do. Well, there's always napping…

Deciding there's nothing else better to do I close my eyes until… "Hoia!" A voice practically screeches in my ear and I fall out of my chair in surprise. "I'm Kenma! Kenma Burgoise" I open my eyes to see a rather lanky and tall Who standing in front of me, offering a hand to help me up. I reluctantly take it and the boy who called himself Kenma yanks me to my feet.

"Sorry about that, I just happened to notice you were the mayor's son!" _Gee what tipped you off genius?_ I groan and rub my head. Along with his uniform, Kenma was also wearing this blue wool cat hat, it was made to look like Kenma's face was inside the cat's maw. "Your name's Koko right?"

I cringe and groan, looking to the side. "Its Jojo…" I roll my neck and climb back into my desk. "Nice hat, by the way."

"Thanks! Nice vest!" He takes the seat next to me and I almost groan again. "Though, won't you get in trouble for destroying your uniform? Oh of course you won't your dad's the mayor!" People's heads snap toward me, this fucker's being way too loud…

"Keep it down man…" I slink back in my seat, hoping people would look away. The problem isn't people knowing I'm the son of the mayor, that was bound to happen and most people already know me. The issue is, I don't want them thinking I'm using my dad's political power to gain an edge at school.

"Oh right sorry…" Kenma mutters, quieting down, he scratches his cheek and it wasn't until then that I noticed how bright red his fur is. "I tend to get really loud when I meet new people." He sighs, looking down at his desk.

Damn, people are still looking, now it'll look bad if I don't let him off the hook for his stupidity. "It's fine, it's not a big deal at all." I force a supportive smile. So help me, if I get stuck to this kid all year because of this I'm going to hang myself.

 **Great Phant**

 **Stand Stats**

Speed: C

Power: A

Precision: C

Range: D (3 meters)

Durability: B

Developmental Potential: C

 **Type: Close-Range Power-Type**

 **Form: Non-Natural Humanoid**

 **Ability**

Great Phant can flatten anything anything with a volume under 125 feet, and a density of 5 grams per cubic centimeter.

So far I've had 7 classes and this joker's been in all 7 of them, he even followed me around at lunch! It wouldn't be so bad if he would shut up for more than 5 minutes. Still, he means well and isn't trying to be annoying. If I were gay, or a girl I might actually think he's cute. How do I know that if I'm not those things, because every gay guy and girl keeps fucking flirting with him. To make matters worse everyone keeps complimenting his stupid-ass hat! In what world is that shit cool? Its a neon-blue cat head made of wool, plus it has those stupid tassle things!

This dude is like an anime protagonist, he's loud, eats way more than he should reasonably be able to, and somehow gets everyone to want to smash him without even trying. Its the first day and already 2 girls and one guy have confessed their love to him. So since everyone likes him so much, they like me too, which means I can't stop hanging out with him because then everyone will hate me and I'll just be stuck at this morning again with everyone shooting me looks.

 _Look on the bright side Jojo, its the end of the day and you won't have to see him again until tomorrow._ I grab my things from my locker and slam it shut, only to find Ken in my face again. "Hey, wanna come over to my house?" He shoots me that stupid grin of his and now people are staring again, great. How can I politely decline his offer?

"I'm a bit busy, sorry…" I mutter and sling my messenger bag over my shoulder. Everyone looks at me angrily and Kenma gives me the puppy-dog eyes. Are you kidding me? I have to go home with him? I just want to be left alone for like 10 minutes! "But you can come over to my house if you want…" I sigh.

"Yay!" Ken latches onto me and I have to practically drag him out of the building. Eventually we arrive at my house, Whoville Manor, where Kenma's jaw drops. "Holy shit its so much bigger than in the pictures!"

I cringe a bit and take him inside where I see… nobody… Is seriously nobody home yet? I look at my watch. 3:15, mom must still be out picking up my sisters. I shrug and just flop onto the couch, turning on the TV as Kenma stands in the doorway like a dumbass. "Sit down man."  
"Oh, sorry!" He grimaces and takes off his shoes, stepping into the house. The who takes off his hat for the first time all day and puts it on the coat rack.

"You don't gotta take off your shoes." I chuckle and Kenma shrugs, embarrassed, as he sits next to me on the couch, staring at me with this bizarre look on his face. "Uh, what're you doing?"

He chuckles. "Nothing, nothing, its just…" He trails off, still staring at me with that weird, dazed look.

"Just what?" I laugh nervously, my eyes darting around the room as I make mental notes for escape routes in case things get weird. Speaking of weird I coulda sworn we had a coat rack, I don't see it though, weird...

"Just… This…" Kenma leans in to plant a kiss on my mouth. My eyes go wide and I instinctively summon Great Phant to knock him into a wall. He hops to his feet and moves out of the way, just in time. What the hell? How could he see it!? "Fucking hell dude, why'd you bring out your stand on me!?"

"Why'd you try to kiss me shit-head!?" I shout and hop to my feet, not repealing my stand. "And how do you know about stands? Moreover, how do you know I have one!?" I growl, gritting my teeth as Kenma facepalms.

"Boss always said mixing sex with work is a bad idea…" Kenma scoffs. "Guess he was right…"

"What the hell are you talk- Urgh!" A large rod of wood curls around my neck, pulling me into a choke-hold, immediately I dispel my stand out of shock.

"Sorry Jojo, gotta kill you, bosses orders…" He shakes his head, mocking disappointment. "Its just a shame I have to kill you _before_ the sex." _Excuse me?_

"W-wanna run that by me again…" I growl, as the wood tightens it's grip. I kick my feet and manage to kick off the couch, able to breathe in a bit. Now I hold my breath and mock suffocation.

"Oh did you not get it?" He laughs psychotically. "I'm gonna fuck your dead body dude!"

I smirk at his stupidity. "You're such a dumbass… Great Phant!" My stand materializes and punches what I assumed was the coat rack. I wonder if his stand has the power to manipulate wood or something. Immediately the power from my stand's punches causes the wood to shatter and I fall to the ground, finally able to catch my breath.

Unfortunately, Kenma sprints up towards me, I brace for impact but it never comes, instead Kenma runs past me to grab his hat. "Really? Getting the hat even in a fight?" I laugh again. "You're such a fucking moron Ken…"

The who growls. "You really haven't realized it yet?" He shakes his head. "Honestly I don't know why the boss doesn't just kill you himself, you're a fucking retard Jojo!" Kenma dashes into the kitchen. Trying to escape, what a dumbass…

I chase after him to find him throwing his hat on my microwave. He sees me and runs off but my stand blocks his path. "Going somewhere?" I grin deviously.

"No, actually!" The microwave, which I was now standing right next to, pops open and begins to activate! I feel my skin begin to burn and hop back as far away as I can, my stand dispelling. I reach down to touch the wound, its soft and sticky almost as if my skin's been melted. I howl in pain and grit my teeth, staring down Kenma. "I will fucking kill you…"

He approaches some knives, making sure to grab his hat first. _Fuck it hurts so much… No! Calm down Jojo, think about what his powers might be. He put the hat on the coat rack and it started moving, now he put it on the microwave and it acted on its own. Can his hat possess and control things? Is the hat his stand!?_

He grins wickedly and ties the extremely large knives to his hat's toussels. "Its time to die, Jojo." He rolls his neck and throws its hat, directly at me, it stabs at me rapidly and I roll out of my way. Thats it! I was right! "No use prolonging the inevitable!"

"You mean your death?" I growl, standing to my feet as pain continues to flood through my body. "Because-" The knives fly toward me and stab me in the chest. "FUCKING HELL!" I scream in pain. "How did you even do that? I thought you could only control objects touching the hat!"

Ken shakes his head, still smiling as my blood flows out onto the floor, the knives slowly dragging up my torso. "You're partially right, but I don't just control them, I possess them. I can bend them to my will! Do you understand now Jojo! This is the power of Kat's Kap!"

I grit my teeth and yank out the knives with my bare hands, the blood flows even faster. "Speeding up your own death? Smart, end the pain while you can…" I shake my head, staring daggers at him. I summon out my stand and the air goes extremely still. "What're you doing then Jojo? Got a last ditch effort? Pulling shit out of your ass? YOU'RE GOING TO DIE HERE JOJO!"

I ignore him and growl. "Stands aren't usually corporeal, yours is, people were commenting on it at school," Kenma backs up, a bit surprised by my sudden resolve. "And everything that happens to a stand happens to the user. What do you think would happen if Great Phant were to flatten your Kat's Kap, right here, right now!?" I hold the hat away at arm's length, holding my chest in an effort to stop the bleeding.

The color drains from Kenma's face and he steps back. "You can't dispel your stand so whats to stop me from killing you right now you FILTHY FAGGOT NECROPHILIAC!" I toss the hat to Great Phant to tosses it to the ground and stomps on it.

"Does sorry work?" He mutters quietly.

"I'M GOING TO NEED A LOT FUCKING MORE THAN A SORRY HERE KENMA!" I begin to activate Phant's ability, Kenma falls to the ground and his breathing grows ragged. "We're going to need to work out some terms to our truce!"

"YES! FINE! ANYTHING! Just don't kill me!" He cries out in pain as his breathing begins to get worse, I hear a crack, his ribs breaking.

"First, when at school you are going to act like you're going to act like you're going to listen to my every word! Every order I give out you will obey! Are we understood!?" I shout, spitting in his face as his ribs crack again.

"AGH! YES!" He cries out in pain and I indulge the sadist in me, crushing him a little more.

"Next! You will tell me everything you know about your boss!" He cries out again and agrees. "Who is your boss!?"  
"AGH! I don't know!"

"What are his motives!?"  
"I don't know that either!" I increase the pressure and he coughs up some blood. "Fine! Fine! He wants to be mayor! So he has to kill your dad and all possible candidates of becoming mayor!"

"But that means he has to be on good standing with the council… Unless he's one of them… Tell me anything else you know!"

"He's been making stand users in Whoville to do his dirty work for him!"

Finally, I let him up, untying the knives and tossing him his hat. "Don't fuck with me Kenma, next time I _will_ kill you." He nods. "Now then… Kat's Kap can possess and manipulate objects. I figure it can't control my brain but would it be able to force wounds to close?"

"Y-yeah, it should be able to," He places the hat on me, getting way closer than necessary as he whispers into my ear "Hold still." I shudder in slight fear as my wounds begin to close, albeit painfully.

"Now clean this shit up, you made a huge mess in my house and my mom's gonna be home any minute." He nods and gets to work. I sigh and flop on the couch.

 **Kat's Kap**

 **User: Kenma Burgoise**

 **Stand Stats:**

Speed: F

Power: F

Precision: B

Range: F

Durability: A

Developmental Potential: B

 **Type: Bound Stand**

 **Form Type: Non-Natural Non-Humanoid**

 **Ability:**

The user can possess and manipulate the shape of any inanimate objects that the hat touches so long as the hat remains touching it. For example if the hat is touching a knife the user can make the knife fly around and bend and twist the knife, but if the knife is no longer touching the hat the user can no longer possess or manipulate its shape.

I kinda want to ask Kenma why he even agreed to help the politician who wants me dead, but I think he just agreed to let Ken have his way with my dead body. I shudder at the thought, I'm going to have to keep an eye on him. "Kenma, give me the full story, I want to know every detail of the interactions you've had with this guy."

"It all started on friday night, I was on Dryftwud and some guy was on there, so I agreed to chat with him-"  
"But you don't know who he was?"

"His profile pic was black and his name was just a bunch of question marks."

"And you didn't think that this was a bad idea?"

"I like a man of mystery! Now can I continue the story?"

"Fine, fine…"

"So anyway I agreed to chat with him and he seemed pretty nice. Gave me some compliments on my dick and ass pics-"

"TMI"

"And he said I was cute and funny. Eventually he wanted to meet up. I liked him enough so I agreed. We agreed to meet up at this secluded place in the woods-"

"Again, you _really_ thought this was a good idea?"

"But I didn't see anybody there. Then I feel like something happened, maybe I got hurt or something? I dunno, I passed out and I woke up to seeing his stand. It was this white humanoid thing, just a complete blank slate, but it made sure to stay away from me, outside of it's range. At that point, what I assume is this guy's stand, he called if 'About ME', explained everything to me through his stand, the rules, his goals, my job, and my reward."

"What was the reward?"

"He said he'd let me fuck him, and when he was mayor, I could fuck anyone I wanted. He also said I could fuck your dead body and that it was probably a bad idea but it was up to me. So I decided to make my job easier by befriending you at school, I tried to make things simple by bringing you to my house but it didn't work, so we came here instead. And that's pretty much everything. Anyway I'm done cleaning, can I watch TV now?"

I nod and he flops onto the couch, just as my mom and 96 sisters walk into the house, yelling and screaming and banging on shit as they all go to their respective rooms. I swear, every time they come home it's like a hurricane's gone through the house… "Jojo, tell your new freind that it was nice to meet him but he should probably get home soon!" My mom calls to me from the leisure-kitchen and Kenma hangs his head. While he can be annoying, I'm not sure I want to let him out of my sight so I tell her no.

"He's sleeping over tonight," I go to the leisure-kitchen and open a soda. "He goes to my school so its not a problem is it?" I ask, doing my best to sound cute and adorable, not that that ever helps. What _does_ help is that I've never had a friend over before.

"Fine, just make sure he doesn't break anything or ruin anything, ok? I'm already drained enough from having to take your sisters home…" I nod and flop onto the couch with Kenma.

"Thanks for letting me stay, I appreciate it."  
"Don't get your hopes up, I'm straight dude. The only reason you're staying is because I don't trust you yet…"

 **About ME**

 **User: ?**

 **Stand Stats:**

Speed: ?

Power: ?

Precision: ?

Range: D

Durability: ?

Developmental Potential: ?


End file.
